Ahead of the release of his new memoir, “Darkness to Light,” Lamar Odom is opening up about cheating on ex-wife Khloé Kardashian and his debilitating cocaine addiction.
“I wish I could have been more of a man,” Odom told People. “It still bothers me to this day. But regret is something we have to learn to live with.”
It has been almost five years since Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian split up and decided to go their separate ways after being married for a tumultuous four years. Odom has recently opened up on his deep-felt regret on how things turned out between him and Khloe.
In the memoir, Odom gets candid about his drug addiction and near-constant affairs throughout his 4-year marriage to the “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” star but maintains they started out as blissfully happy newlyweds.
“For a while, being with her was bliss and I was the happiest I’ve ever been,” Odom writes in his book. “We were one of the most famous couples in Hollywood and we made more money together than we had individually.”
However, his mental health started to take a turn and he turned to drugs and women to cope.
“At the start of our marriage I was faithful to her,” he writes. “I could not handle the lethal cocktail of the spotlight, addiction, a diminishing career and infidelity. Oh, did I mention the paranoia, anxiety, depression. … I couldn’t keep my d–k in my pants or the coke out of my nose.
“Drug addicts are incredibly skilled at hiding their habit. I’d get defensive and Khloé would just drop it.”
Khloé put their divorce on hold as she stayed by his side throughout his health crisis following a drug overdose in October 2015.
“Her love for me must have been unconditional,” he said. “That’s the only thing [I think] that gave her the strength to still love me at that time.”
Odom had to be hospitalised and had a near-death experience following an overdose in 2015. He woke up to find Khloe right by his side. “I remember waking up and her showing me pictures of my mother,” he shared referring to his mother Cathy who passed away due to cancer when he was 12. “I was surprised on how quick she was to show her devotion to me.”
They finalised their divorce in December 2016.